OUR UNSPOKEN RULES

Our decisions and actions are governed by unspoken principles and guidelines that underpin our lives. These rules encompass and administer our behaviours, controlling how we interact with others, how we respond to particular situations and how we conduct ourselves. There are various factors that contribute to the creation of these principles, such as, childhood experiences, religious beliefs, relationships, etc. As no two people share the exact same experiences through life, accordingly, no two people’s list of unspoken rules are exactly the same. This oftentimes leads to miscommunications, misjudgement of intentions and breakdown in relationships.

Oftentimes we assume that others do or should, share the same unspoken rules as we do. This is a common mistake, as outlined previously, owing to differing experiences throughout life, no two people have identical unspoken rules. Therefore, the wrongful assumption that others should share the same unspoken rules as yourself errs dangerously close to crevices of arrogance. Additionally, when this assumption is made, miscommunication is oftentimes the result.

An overt example of this miscommunication/misjudgement of intention is differences in cultural customs. When people from different upbringings meet or converse, there is carried an increased possibility for miscommunication/misjudgement of intention. However, this can be stifled and managed through people’s views upon unspoken rules. We should employ our humbleness in order to identify and make concessions in particular situations and understand that other people most likely do not share our unspoken rules. This will shift our reactions to particular behaviour from defensive and intolerant to understanding and productive. Most actions are not conducted maliciously and may only appear so because of a difference in outlook and unspoken rules.

This is not to say, however, that we should be entirely tolerable of those with vastly different unspoken rules, as this can oftentimes lead to a degradation in mental health and stability. It is only to say that instead of becoming reactionary and defensive in response, we should employ a more calculated tactic through understanding, which allows us to proceed more cautiously and upon our own terms.

Thank You Hamoudi.